Oops, stupid me/bolts
 

I upgraded the hpfp and everything went smoothly until I was tightening the (e8 inverted torx) bolts back down. One bolt went in fine, the others head stripped and can no longer get a socket on it, and the other snapped off inside. I feel like I messed up bad, but I really wasn't giving them much torque when they snapped/stripped. I'm not confident in myself to try and extract the bolts myself, could I take it to a shop and have them do it or am I SOL?

You can do this yourself. Just take your time with the bolt extractors, and hopefully you can get the body out with the broken bolt still in.

Sounds like you had the pump skewed on the way in and it jammed.